


... too late?

by liquorisce



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, Denial, M/M, Old Fic, Pining, Regret, not so casual feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27515518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquorisce/pseuds/liquorisce
Summary: Haruka’s had a lot of bests in his life. He’s been the best swimmer, the best painter, the best friend… and now, he has to be the best man.[written in 2018, uploaded in 2020]
Relationships: Matsuoka Rin/Nanase Haruka, Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	... too late?

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this a long time ago on tumblr, when i had a particularly severe case of feels. i hope you enjoy this absolutely unnecessary clusterfuck of emotions as much as i did <3

“… He’s been looking everywhere for you.”

Rin didn’t really have to say much more. Haru could picture it. Makoto’s brow crinkled, eyes _wrecked_ with worry, for _him_ -

-“… With the kind of fuss he’s making, you’d think it’s the bride that’s gone missing,” Rin says lightly, eyes on Haru.

He knows his not so insouciant remark has hit its mark when Haru’s eyes snap back at his, dangerously, emotions he wasn’t sure Haru was capable of, flitting through sea-deep eyes.

But enough’s enough, Haru’s had his chance, and he’s fucked it up, and that gives him no right to ruin what could possibly be the most important moment of Makoto’s _life_. So the calm dread of purposelessness seeps back into him, draining colour and feeling.

Haruka is doing his best to keep the pain at bay, but it’s getting out of control, like the low tide, inching slowly.

But it starts to prick Rin.

“Wake,” Rin grabs Haru’s arm - almost violently, “the _fuck_ up, Haru!“ 

It’s alarming how frail Haru seems all of a sudden, weak, defeated - _desperate_ \- "You don’t get to sit around crying about what ifs and what-could-have-beens,” and Rin has the satisfaction of seeing resignation on Haru’s features, “you’ve got to suck it up, and fucking _be there_ for Makoto, you’re the _fucking Best Man_ , Makoto fucking _lov,_ ” -

… and Haru’s eyes grows wide because Rin is about to say what Haru desperately wants to hear - from _someone_ even if it’s not Makoto but - 

-“… _Haru! There you are!”_

Rin’s hands are on Haru’s shoulders, and he’s bending down to where Haru’s sitting, on the ledge by the pool, looking into Haru’s eyes, which are blue tinged with gray where they start to mist over - the intimacy making him feel shamefully like an intruder.

Suddenly Makoto wishes he hadn’t found Haru after all.

* * *

Later, after the vows have been exchanged, and ‘too late’ is a time that is long past, Haru’s pressed up against the body-length mirror of his hotel room, with Rin’s hands harsh on his hips, and teeth tearing into his lower lip, stopping him from gasping the name ’ _Makoto_ ’.

Rin stops for a second, grunting, that there isn’t enough lubrication, and Haru knows he’s got a bottle in the left side drawer by the bed, but he needs this, needs it to _burn_ , so he gasps, “No,” strained against the press of Rin’s palm against his throat, “… I _want it to hurt_.”

So Rin fucks him, hard on the couch that’s small enough only for Haru’s body, and when Haru jerks himself into his fist, alcohol bringing back memories of bachelor parties and drunk kisses that shouldn’t have been drunk, Haru knows he’s _fucked_ \- for _Makoto._

Rin is gentle with him afterwards, reaching for the lube that Haru denied the first time around, and uses his fingers, slowly, spreading him out. It’s too much for Haru, this kind of sweet that Haru doesn’t _deserve_ , the kind of gentle that he only he wants from somebody _else_.

Haru cums to that thought, of that somebody else, his deep voice, and his large frame, as he holds him, cooing, “ _Haru,_ ” as he plays Haru’s body like a well-loved instrument. 

Rin is weak to the small, _desperate,_ noise Haru makes at the back of his throat when he’s close - breathing a name he hopes he heard wrong - and grunts as his breathing quickens, releasing into the exquisite tightness of Haru’s body.

“… _Fuck_ ,” Rin curses as he removes himself from Haru and slips off the condom, and suddenly Haru is _too_ aware of just how much he’s fucking up.

Haru hands Rin his shirt, and it’s obvious what he’s saying, that they’re done now, that he should leave, and he knows he’s an asshole, but Rin knows better than to think this meant anything, so he swallows his silly hopes and buttons up his shirt.

There are a million things that draw Rin to Haruka, and things that draw Haruka to Rin, and one is that they understand each other on a fundamental level, understand when they see something they want, something they need to have.

The doorknob turns, and they’re almost fully clothed, but when Makoto enters, thinking that Haru would be alone in his room, it’s obvious to him that he wasn’t. “… I-I’m sorry, I should have knocked, I,” Makoto’s eyes flit briefly across the strip of bare chest, the messed up hair, Haru’s swollen, bitten lips, and he can’t stop his tongue licking across his suddenly dry lips.

“… I just, I just wanted to talk to Haru,” Makoto stutters, and he lets the hurt seep through his words, lets his eyes narrow to a point where it almost feels like betrayal.

But of _what_?

“… Makoto, wait,” Haruka calls out, hoarsely, and it’s almost like a movie when he runs out after him, panicked, like the forlorn lover that’s always just a moment too late.

It probably is too late, Rin thinks, but it doesn’t matter, it’s just a useless effort from his side as well.

Because Rin sees the way Haruka looks at Makoto, and he’s known it all along, in all the scratches on his back born out of Haru’s frenzy, and the tears that slipped through his cracked lips, because the name on Haru’s lips was never his, it was always two syllables more. 

He watches out of the window and sees Makoto, tall and beautiful and noble in his dark suit and definitively _married._

He sees the confusion, the hurt, the glassiness in his bright, green eyes.

And Rin sees _Haru_ \- the same blue eyes and knobby knees and pale skin that had captured his heart at an age where he was too young to even know it - finally, catching up to Makoto, hair dishevelled where _his_ hands had been, dark red bruises burgeoning against his throat.

Perfect lips that had kissed Rin with so much desperation, now pleading apologies and possibly bleeding feelings.

And he understands, finally, the difference between himself and what Haruka will always want.

**Author's Note:**

> ... sorry


End file.
